Walk it off

One more week in the books. Textbooks. I took a physics exam on Thursday and a calculus exam today. They went predictably - I think I did well on the former and good enough on the latter. On the subject of just doing well enough on exams, I have made a deal with myself: if I miss a question on the exam but can get it right later sometime in the near future (by the time I have spent a while working on it, I have it memorized enough to go back to the lab and write it down), I won't beat myself up. Of course, this doesn't help my grade but it is better than dwelling on missed points or pouting and thinking I'll never amount to anything. In the Real World, it will be best if I can solve problems in the time alloted. Second best will be if I can solve them with just a little extension. So that's my deal.

I just got back from having dinner with Nick at Taste of India. I called to see if he wanted to hang out and when he said he had been considering tracking down a meal, I balked because my stomach was at that moment protesting the unfair cashew butter and jelly sandwich that I fed it earlier. However, after some thought, the notion occurred to me that a good hot plate of spicy Indian food and the walk there and back are the perfect fix for a clog in the plumbing. I was correct. Drain-o Bhartha.

Tomorrow morning, I am to assist with an open house for accepted physics students (it's not easy for us to gain acceptance so....oh, sorry Dad. I should have left that one for you) during which I'll give a tour of our illustrious and industrious MIRL. It sure did help that, this afternoon, Marc (Lessard) gave me a thorough tour of the place.

After the open house, it's off to Friday's. I need to set a definite quit date then make one of those paper ring chains that Steph and I used to make when one of our parents was away for a trip.

Books!

I have overwhelmed myself. Here is a list (in no particular order) of what I have committed myself to:

1) Watchmen: I saw the movie with Allison, et al. when it came out and was supposed to have read the graphic novel beforehand. Instead, I am reading it afterhand and finding that I like it better. No big surprise; good choice (credit to Richard)

2) Atlas Shrugged: I have been curious about this book for years, so as I hear more about it from friends, I get more intrigued by it. My motivation to read it came originally from these conversations but finding out that there is an annual scholarship out there for a sweet essay on the book has encouraged me to start it now rather than to wait for the summer. Should be a quick read...

3) The Constitution of the United States: The actual document. With a new president and a new Congress bringing "change" to the country, I think now is a good time to reacquaint myself with the foundation.

4) On Space and Time: My parents gave me this book for Christmas and it looks really interesting. Now I just have to crack it open and find out how interesting it is.

5) div grad curl and all that: This borders on textbook status - those books are needless to list because obvi I'm reading them all the time - but it is explicitly marketed as "an informal text on vector calculus" and may therefore be listed here as a book that I  choose to read. I hear only praise from physicists for this book and I think that now (before the heavy calculus starts) is a good time to dive into it.

And there you have them: five great reasons to quite Friday's!

Answers

I can't remember what show I was listening to on NPR as I drove to work the other day but a man of some stature in the philosophical world was talking about how he manages to promote his message, lecture, stuff like that (the details aren't important) and he said some bit about focussing entirely on one task at a time. That was all nice but what really got me thinking was how he talked about seeking fulfillment rather than seeking success. I don't remember the quote exactly but I really took to the message: fulfillment is about a gaining all the knowledge and enjoyment that you would like to gain while success is about gaining enough of whatever to have more than someone (or everyone) else. As I work to become more secure and confident in my role as a budding physicist, I need to remember that worrying about success will drive me crazy but going after fulfillment will put me help me learn much better.

The End

When I go to bed tonight (at a reasonably early hour, I hope), spring break will be over. That is fine with me, though; I had my relaxation, accomplished all those little chore stuffs that I needed to do and am anxious to get back to the physicking. I am ending my vacation by watching "Gangs of New York."

I have a dilemma in regards to the coming week: a cook asked if he could have my Monday night shift so I told him 'yes' out of the goodness of me heart and to the relief of my study time. Later in the shift, a different cook asked if she could have my Wednesday night shift. Now, after worrying that I would be at work too much this week, I have to consider whether I will be there too little if I give up this second shift (I'm scheduled for about 18 hours on the weekend). Hmm...This would be a case of getting what I asked for but I never asked for fewer hours or complained about being scheduled for extra. I just lamented, as usual, the fact that I still have to go there at all.

On that note, I close with an adept analogy. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past week and one question that keeps coming up is "why does Friday's haunt me?" It is one thing for me to dislike the job while I'm there but something deeper is at work when the fact that I hold the job bothers and distracts me while I'm not there. I don't have an answer to this problem, though I won't need one when I finish my plan to make ends meet through loans/scholarships next year (a plan which is currently in progress). But at work today, it occurred to me that still having a job there is like living with an ex because you broke up before the lease expired. Nominally, you can get on with life, see other people, etc. but maintaining that dependence on the other person after the thrill is gone makes all those things very difficult to do. I have broken up with Friday's and have told her about falling in love with physics but I can't leave until the fall.

I have never lived with a girlfriend, though, so what do I know?

Still life with vacation

In the second edition of getting all freshened up, I took myself out for a haircut today. I had considered doing the job myself but decided in the end that I would pay the professional to knock it down to size so I can trim it on my own. I hope it works. In any case, it is nice to be a little less burdened now that the weather is warming up. Next up: organize my room and wash my bed sheets. 

I spent some time in the lab today but nothing of interest happened. In terms of work, I nominally spent four hours analyzing plots of ducting events. In truth, I also spent a wee bit of time writing out an honest budget so I can scheme a way to work less next semester, and I spent some time thinking about life questions that have been on my mind for a while now. That is no small process and I hope I'm doing it right.

This evening, I watched the VHS of Mourad's performance on Iron Chef and he was superb. He acted just like he does in the Aziza kitchen - quiet, focused, intense - but this time, I was less on edge because he wasn't yelling at me to get the **** food out of the **** kitchen.

A fresh start

I have oodles of clean laundry!! I also succeeded in going four days without cracking a textbook of any sort so my brain is a squeaky-clean slate ready to absorb lots of new information without protest. In truth, I did stick my head in a few books in the math section of Borders while looking for something they didn't have and I poked around the APS website but hey, I never said I stopped loving physics...

Time in New London was relaxing. I watched Wall*E, I put a fatal dent in Skinny Legs and All and I learned an Okkervil River song off of that cd I bought. I even did some important internet business like filing my taxes and filling out my FAFSA but this isn't the place to talk about that :-)

So now I'm back in Dover. I have to work tonight. I have some vegetable stew from home. I need to buy cous cous to eat with the stew.

Updates on vacation

I just got to New London from Laconia, taking a long and winding route of whose course I couldn't be certain but the which I expected would deposit me somewhere familiar and in any event, I was in the mood for an errant drive on a nice day. Three took me to eleven which took me to one-oh-six which led me close enough to Concord that I could find my way from there. I stopped at Borders to track down a copy of div, grad, curl and all that but today was the day that they were out so I spent time pawing through other math-physics books that I had the patience to not purchase before buying the album "Black Sheep Boy" by Okkervil River. I donated a Dr. Seuss book to some children's charity. I visited my dad at work.

In Laconia, we stayed at a place called Summit somethingorother where Allison's parents had time-share time that they would be using. The place was cute and well maintained and though the "fireplace" was a back lit screen decorated with plastic molds of logs, the important stuff - the kitchen appliances, the lights and the plumbing - all worked fine. We cooked ourselves a humungo dinner on Saturday then played Memory until we couldn't remember to stay awake and we slept in on Sunday. After breakfast of chocolate-chip pancakes, everyone put on snow gear (or the functional equivalent) and drove out to Gunstock where we bought two hour tickets for the tubing hill; the trip was, of course, a resounding success. A late light lunch and a nap. An hour in the pool at the main lobby. We came back, cooked a more reasonably-sized dinner and watched the Dark Knight after no small amount of negotiations with the DVD player.

Now I am at my parents house with two loads of laundry, a guitar and no homework and I think that is the ideal state in which to begin my spring break.

Take your shirt off.

IT"S ALLMOST SPRNG BRK AN I"M WICKED EXSITED!!!!!11

Allison and I are going up to a time share in Laconia to get in fights, throw up in the street and get caught on videos that will cause our parents to cut all funding toward our educations. Except it'll be a little different in that we will read books, ride tubes down some mountain and eat Brussels sprouts. We leave Saturday and come back Tuesday, I think.

I bought two foodstuffs at the store that are new to me: cashew butter and hemp milk. My report on each will be available as soon as I have sufficiently sampled.

That's it for now...my tea water has boiled, my bagel is toasted and the bus is probably rounding the corner as I type!

Making Conversation

I don't really have much to say other than hi. Allison got back safely and tiredly on Thursday so we have spent most of our free time relaxing at her house. At one point, we got to talking about earning money, study time and how those mix and she strongly advised that I look into getting more money on loan next year. I'm not sure why I can't even get enough aid to pay my tuition while it seems like other people to whom I'm spoken are able to get money for rent and food; there must be something that I'm missing on my FAFSA. Even though I get by now juggling Friday's, the MIRL and school work, Allison's voice of reason reminded me that the school workload will only get more difficult in a hurry. If I barely get by now, I'll be in trouble next year. 

So I have to figure out what to do and in the meantime, all I can think about while at Friday's is how nice it would be to be able to concentrate on physics full-time. Even twenty hours/week of no-thinking-allowed time trips me up.

Look at my great Kaktovik souvenir!

Back on top

After a busy couple of weeks and a down-to-the-wire finish, I feel like I can relax a little. My parents rejoice at the sound! I'll tell you about the hair-raising finish: I spent most of my interclass time yesterday printing, copying and stapling together five copies of my UROP (SURF) summer research proposal to be handed in by 4pm. I made it over the the Hamel Center by 2 with a beautiful and convincing proposal only to find out that the man in the UROP office hadn't yet received Marc Lessard's recommendation! I called Marc on the way back from making a few extra copies that I originally forgot and had to leave a message imploring him to throw something together and send it off ASAP. Fortunately, I can tell you with the serenity of hindsight that he sent the email yesterday evening and the UROP man confirmed receipt this morning. All set.

Now that the proposal and my AGU Spring meeting abstract have been submitted, the pressure is off (for now) in terms of lab work (I still have to actually get the research underway) and can be shifted to class work. Specifically, I can start paying more attention to thermo, which has suffered over the past few weeks of increased lab and Friday's work. I did very poorly on a test two Tuesdays ago and I know it was because I worked all weekend and Monday night, leaving me a teensy bit of time to study while getting calc and physics homework done. (As an aside, I have since changed my schedule, removing Monday nights in favor of adding Wednesday nights since we have a thermo test or quiz every Tuesday.) But even allowing for a "bad test day", I feel like I'm only barely getting by in that class in terms of internalizing and owning the information. I can come up with homework answers just fine but I want to feel more like I know what is going on the way I do in calc and physics (recent test scores there were 91 and 99 respectively so it is clear that thermo should be my focus). One thought that I had the other day is that for many other classes, I have spent a lot of time before the sememster preparing - consider that I spent that year while at Dover High teaching myself calculus and that I spent last year taking intro physics and math courses - but that has not been the case for thermo. I was inclined, at one point, to wonder why I am picking the thermo material up more slowly that I picked up other material but I may not be doing that at all. Either way, I spent a few solid hours this morning taking careful notes of the chapter we're finishing and you can be that I will spend a lot of time with that book from now until our test next Tuesday.